Progress

Guess what? If you actually follow your meal plan and eat consistently throughout the day, you don’t get overly hungry or full and there is balance! While this may seem intuitive to most people, it is something I needed to be reminded of. Yesterday I followed my meal plan for the first time in a couple of months and I am working on showing my dietician that between now and in two weeks when I see her, that I can follow my plan and hold myself accountable. While I was proud of what I accomplished yesterday and what I am accomplishing today, it remains a difficult mind game. I feel a bit dismayed and the eating disorder likes to think I am a failure. Although I know my weight didn’t drastically change overnight, my body image is shit today. I am going to trust my body and my dietician and follow this damn plan for the next two weeks and see how it goes. I know it is likely some things will be discussed and adjusted at that time, but for now all I can do is try. More than half the battle with me is the actual planning. It is way easier to go about my day and ignore meals all together until later, so stopping to eat seems like a great annoyance. I realize though that actually planning things out ahead of time helps the day go smoother in the end. Like today for example, instead of restricting and putting off lunch or spending a lot of wasted time trying to decide what I should or shouldn’t eat, I have my lunch in the fridge and when my reminder goes off to stop and eat I will. No extra thought involved. I am also working towards increasing my water intake, especially on rest days because I tend to only drink a lot of water during workouts. I am writing this on paper so to speak in order to continue to hold myself accountable. I don’t tend to be vocal about when I struggle, but writing helps to keep me on track. Hope everyone else is having a great day and if you are struggling to stay on your meal plan know that you aren’t alone and we can do this. Just keep moving forward because you will never know the outcome unless you push. I have a feeling that staying on a plan will have a very positive outcome in my life especially mentally.

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