Fighting Fires

Saturday was the first time in a long time where I actually dreaded going to therapy and I literally had to drag myself there and talk myself out of canceling on several occasions. Now I am sitting here talking myself into making an appointment with my dietitian. I am writing a recovery update because the more you talk about something the less power and control it has over your life. Recovery is an ever evolving process that I have recently taken for granted. I enjoyed a season of life for most of last year where recovery wasn’t taking up much space in my mind and I felt true freedom. Recently it has been quite the opposite and I have been coming to terms with that. Having to wake up and constantly battle myself is exhausting. I forgot how exhausting. The reality is I know that the eating disorder will never be a solution and this is just another season of life and I will grit my teeth and make it by. Talking to people, being honest with my treatment team, making an effort to meal plan….all these things help put out that fire.

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